It had been a long frustrating day with a spoon of whipped cream. I was hoping there was something exciting on the other side of evening.
He was beaming with energy to go for some random shots and I was telling myself. ‘come on do it.. you have not done anything so random for a very long time.’ Yes my brain said, You have not done something so random for so long that these things you think normal are being termed ‘random’ by you. My brain was not very happy with me I could see that.
The camera and laptops in our hand we drove to the middle of nowhere – nowhere for us. But a world of smiling, loving, carefree kids, women, tired men. A huge patch of water, a magnificient dargah, a fort … a small park. Young boys in their white emaculate costumes were ready to go for the evening namaz. Women sat in small groups, some in Burkhas and some happily relishing the golas. It was so peaceful, happy seemed like the opening shots about riots…
We were being looked at with sruprise, some smiles – half smiles wondering if we were the press, tourists. Kids watched from afar at first and watched us take pictures of everything from a leaf, to faces, to kids running around and ofcourse the fort. That was the last thing on our minds… it did not fit our terminology of ‘RANDOM’ We tried to capture the sun setting through the huge pillars, a goat, snack packets. Now the kids were slowly moving towards us and almost followed him to every shot. One of them was wondering why someone would want to come and take pictures of the iron rods that hold bicycles upright. He said, ‘ Yeh kya kar rahe ho…’
I walked aimlessly… i could feel the tension but I was happy to see a world I had never seen before. I was wondering if I were welcome here or was it that they did not have choice. It almost felt like I was in coma.. or a dream I could not make sense of.
It was getting dark, we walked closer to the water. I wanted the perfect shot of the pebble splashing in the water. Once, twice… 23rd time.. we got a few fanstastic shots but not what I wanted. Everytime I try really hard to get what I can see in my head but can’t.. I remember these words…‘If you can see it it has already been captured..Why do you want that?’
We came closer to the dargah.. he stopped and looked back at me and said, ‘Do you think we will be allowed?’ I said, Dont know… I was hoping we would be .. but I was scared to go and ask. I said why dont you go.. Both of us stood there. Tell you this could turn into a perfect scene for a bollywood film. We had just entered the dargah…. people would gather around us… try to push us out.. or may be beat us up.
Ofcourse nothing like that happened. Infact the people around us were finding it very odd that we were not going inside. We walked out without thinking too much… We had created unknown, hazzy walls none of those people could see.
I wanted to capture the pigeons at the top of the dome.. I was trying to capture it through the iron gate. Just then I heard an unknown voice saying, ‘Arre go inside.. you will get a better shot…’
Wow.. How does he know what I want! Am I allowed to go inside… I dont think he would be allowed in the mandir… What are we doing to ourselves? Do we really know what we want?
Yes it was a wonderful evening of realisations and reflections. It left a sweet taste in my mouth and we decided we should come here everytime we feel frustrated…