‘Trainologs’, as all these ideas and sudden urges to write come while I sit staring outside train windows (Sometimes while staring at them while waiting for another train to arrive). I have a feeling that I have spent more time traveling, than at one place in the 3 months. There was a time when I used to write 3 weeks and 3 cities, now I think I can say 3 days and 3 cities! While these trips have been more like ‘to sanity and back’, I feel they have taught me more than what I could learn in the past 30 years of my life…
Its because these journeys gave me to time to think about this journey called life. I have started making sense of mistakes, confusions and failure. I have realised, that I have to celebrate ‘myself; as noone does it better. I have to make ‘me’ happy first, to ensure that everyone around me is doing well too.
As work has made me into an antisocial being suddenly and I hardly get time to take pictures, I have lost all my flaky friends and am now left with the ones that are deeper than the tequilla shots I was having yesterday.
I have started watching television. I feel like a 30yr old, who works so much that she needs to sit in front of the television and stare mindlessly at it till she can fall off to sleep.
Dad and I have started talking about how middle class I am but how I have stepped into the caretaker shoes. Makes me feel old and a feel a little bit of weight on my shoulders. Most importantly the other day while driving back home a question tangled itself in my head. ‘When have I been the happiest in my life?’ – I kept going through frames from the past and then swooshed back the moment then. I realised that I have never felt more happy than NOW! Reminded of how a friend had recently described the ‘HERE and NOW’ person.
That’s what happens to you when are on the move constantly. You become the Here and Now person.