Longtime back in one of our car discussions, we talked about how much we needed to our spaces. How much we needed these spaces to be who we are. Sometimes I wondered if we would ever be able to share the same space. I slowly learnt to come to terms with the fact that while we will keep creating things in our own spaces and share these ideas we will never be able to share it. It is this love for spaces is what had brought us close. It was because we had our own distinct spaces that we respect each other. I enjoyed watching you for hours in your space and used to feel the love for you had a certain peace in your eyes then. I often feared, what if you did not want to come back from one these spaces? I would not sleep and wake up fearing this. Initially I told myself that this was just a figment of my imagination. A delusion that I create for myself because I dont want to be too optimistic about it all. I never knew that either of our spaces would consume us completely. That we would have to work constantly to ensure that while we had our own spaces, we had to create one that belonged to both of us. I never understood that we had to learn to share spaces slowly for that was the only way we could keep loving each other for what we are and what our spaces have made us.
Never knew that the passion for creating our own spaces would kill ‘us’. Today I realise that I was looking for a third space that we could call ‘ours’ and that was simply an illusion. We were always going to be two people with two spaces. But, the most important regret that I live with is that we did not see each other in our spaces.
I know that my dreams have traces of your smile and my days begin with light from the twinkle in your eyes. I know the wind met you this morning to carry a few hopes for me. I have found a way to see you in my space.. have you?