Where are the men, man?

Disclaimer: I love the men in my life and I don’t think I can ask for more, but I am just being greedy I guess.

People around me seem to insist that I get back to being the social being that I was some 7 years back. Leaving aside my parents who seem to have either given up on me or are mentally living on a another planet where these social pressures do not seem to matter. So the rest of the peer clan is in search of ‘batman’. And I often feel as if I am pleasantly enjoying the drama like it were a film from far. But yesterday the water broke in my head (ya! these phenomenon can also happen in my world – which is free from all sorts of scientific constraints) and I thought to myself that I should try and look too. That’s when I realised the following:

I belong to the lands where every man is called ‘laalo’ and every dog is called Kaalu’ (whether he is black or not!) In some cases the dog can also be laalo and then my brain would automatically prefer the dog. And how on earth is someone supposed to fall in love with a man called ‘laalo’!??

Everything in our world revolves around the men in our life and hence the food named after them to0. Women in our part of the world invented something called ‘mohan thaal’ after the amazing ‘Lord Krishna.  But if you were ever to meet the Mohan who made it, I am sure the real Mohan (lord Krishna) would be disappointed. He would be a slimy looking creature and would probably not be aware of the history of why the sweet is so called. This is nothing against chefs or people who cook, the point I am trying to make is that men in my part of the state do not care about conversation or the depth of the matter. The only thing that matter is the money! But if you ever tried to make conversation about ‘how to earn the money’ you are sure to get a look that would make you feel as if you were from Mars. (Yes! ideally they should have been from Mars and we from Venus!)

I belong to the land where we worship Lord Krishna who is the biggest flirt of them all. But if I were to date a man like that, first of all my dad would freeze in shock, I would be tired of counting that guy’s girl friends and marriage would not even be in consideration for a dream.

I belong to the land where if men opened their mouths it would only be to spit and spatter red pichkaaris around. If they ever managed to empty their mouths of that god forsaken intoxication then one would have shut their ears before they faint of boredom and disappointment.

I would like to imagine that there is a lot that God has saved somewhere and will release along with the newest version of Android. For I believe that either the good ones flee from our happy gujju land, some of the other turned gay! (And they too are suffering as there is a shortage in that category) and others are married (hopefully surviving!)

And having said that the optimist in me would like to announce that the new found search term is, ‘Intelligent is the only sexy!’ and along with a few other women of my clan whose search seems similar to looking for Gotham on the world map – the search is still on!

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2 thoughts on “Where are the men, man?

  1. Yep, that’s why I had to marry someone from the other end of the country! No men in Mohanthaal Land! Easy, fun and true read…strikes a chord with every girl our agein our state!

    • I love you @Henri babe for believing in my mad thoughts of the mohanthaal land. I am going to pack my bags and go look into the idli land.

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